The day my younger sister walk in on me while having sex on facetime was the most embarrassing moment in my life. I can hear my sister spreading the news all over the house.
Ewww! You are nasty! I’m telling mama on you! Pervert!
At the time, I was younger. But it wasn’t the moment itself that was so humiliating. It was the person I had been dating for some time who witnessed my sister’s scream that made it embarrassing.
Having facetime sex was something we did often. The problem was that I got caught doing it. But rather than that,
This woman made me feel like I was walking on water!
Her visuals were like paintings of Angels.
Her voice was therapeutic and yet salacious.
So getting caught wasn't so bad after all. She made me feel like I was dancing with the stars on the moon. That alone overshadows the embarrassment. There was nothing else she could do to make me feel otherwise. Being her true self was enough to keep me high on love.
She made me feel like this without having any sexual intercourse.
Don’t get me wrong
I tried numerous times to hit a home run. But she wasn't ready to take our relationship to that level yet. She will always say,
“I want to wait until marriage.”
I reply
which I understand completely
“There are so many things we need to discuss before we can have sex.”
I reply
Take your time
“If you only knew.”
I reply
Knew what?
My girlfriend would always speak riddles sometimes. Saying things under her breath, which drove me crazy. I will always have my foot in my mouth when trying to grab information out of her. She would just embarrass me, and I feel bad for trying to understand her.
But despite that, I can honestly say I truly loved her.
That all changes with one conversation.
After we had facetime sex. I had no clue it would be my last time. Later that night, we decided to meet up at a bar with her friends.
My girlfriend randomly sparks up a conversation with a transgender woman. The night was young, there was liquor involved, and things kinda went south for me.
My girlfriend started asking questions asking the woman what it like to be a trangender woman. I remember the lady replying.
“For me, being a transgender woman has been an incredible experience. I feel liberated as if an anatomical weight has been lifted from my shoulders. For years, I struggled with my identity and sexual preferences, and I struggled to persuade my family of who I truly was.
My family was ashamed of me and gradually excluded me from their lives. The main reason is that I was raised in a religious household. My parents were staunch conservatives. This is unfortunate because my lifestyle forces them to keep away. I felt lonely, distraught, and abanded.
But over time I found people such as yourself, who understood me. Loved me for who I am. and I started to build relationships beyond my imagination. I even advocate for men who needed help to embrace who they truly are. I really don't consider myself transgender. I am an individual that live out the truth and walks into purpose. It's an incredible feeling.”
Then my girlfriend asks.
“Are you able to have penetrative sex as a trans woman?”
For a moment I was shocked that she asked. But the woman didn't mind answering her questions. She replies, not in these exact words
“I am a post-op trans woman. I had had vaginoplasty surgery. Which in other words is reconstructive surgery. I'm so grateful for this because it allows me to enjoy sex.
“Don't get me wrong it's very weird at first. As a man having sex is one thing. But having sex as a woman is another thing. I always had these fears as a woman having sex.
What if it feels too strange?
What if it breaks?
What if i have to get it replaced?
What if it start to smell?
“I started to get gender dysphoria. I was uncomfortable with myself. It's like my mind was trying to catch up with my body. After a few encounters with some guys, I felt more confident and slowly got over gender dysphoria.”
Then my girlfriend ends it with a banger with this question.
“At what point do you tell your partner that you are trans?” She asked.
The lady cut in and asked
“Hol up, you mean your boyfriend dosent know?”
My dumbass was clueless with a goofy-looking facial expression and reply
“Know what? What is she talking about?”
It took literally a minute and forty-five seconds for it to dawn on me. At that moment my facial expression went from goofy-looking to confused and hurt.
My girlfriend grabs my hands, and say
“I've been wanting to tell you for the longest but I just didn't know how to break it to you.
“I am a Transwoman, I have been since I was 23 years old. I should have told you sooner, especially when we kissed, and made love over facetime. And meeting your lovely family. This is not how i wanted to tell you. I wanted it to be a special moment that can be condusive.”
How did I feel
Confused
Shocked
Angry
Sad
Depressed
All at the same time. “You mean to tell me, i been having phone sex with a man.”
That’s the thing, I used to be a man, but not any longer. I consider myself a full-fledged woman. I haven’t changed; I’m still the woman you fell for. This is my public persona, my identity, and my life. And if you are unwilling to participate in my different way of living. There isn’t much to say after that.
At this point
I couldn't hear anything after I used to be a man. I have nothing against Transgender individuals. They are human beings regardless of their sexual orientation. I love everyone from all walks of life. That is what God intended me to do.
HOWEVER
I do believe that as a man, i have the right to know who I'm getting involved with. And sharing that piece of information sooner than later would have saved us from the heartache and pain of breaking up.
I truly loved this woman. But my beliefs wouldn't allow me to continue to pursue her. Just like her, i also have preferences, and I prefer a natural born woman. And i say that without disrespect towards the LBGTQ community.
I was glad she didn't have physical sex, and told me no all those times. but i still felt bad because we did
kissed,
and hugged,
cuddled
and had facetime sex
That was the hardest breakup that I ever had in my life. I was so attached to her. I was drowning in the pool of her swag. I was at awe of her beauty, and the crazy thing is. She didn't sound or left me any hints of being a man in her past.
Was i wrong for leaving?
Was i selfish?
Should I have changed my preferences and go against what I belive for the sake of Love?
Since that night at the bar, I’ve approached dating in a completely new light. I developed a hard interior over the years. I actually take more time into getting to know people but i still find it difficult to trust them. That night really threw me off for quite some time.
My ex-girlfriend and I are still good friends, and I still love her with all my heart. But not in that way anymore. I can honestly say that
Having Sex with a Transgender woman really changed my life.
Tell me what you think, what would you have done? Leave a comment, I would love to read your point of view on this topic.
Thank you for reading.