You’d be happier if you deleted Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and the rest.
Have you ever taken medicine that made you even more sick?
If you’ve created an account on Tinder, Bumble or any other dating app, the answer is yes.
These apps are marketed as the quickest, most enjoyable cure to loneliness, but they’ve probably made you feel lonelier than ever.
You know the game is rigged. You usually feel worse after playing. Yet, you keep going back.
Like the old woman pulling at the slot machine, you keep swiping in the hope that the jackpot is coming.
This guide aims to persuade you to delete your dating apps and commit to looking for love in the real world.
They’ll keep eating away at your time, money and self-esteem until you do…
Why Dating Apps Are Making Us Lonelier And More Miserable
Loneliness is a bitch.
It’s essentially a lack of something every man and woman needs to be happy: human connection.
Studies even suggest that it shortens the human lifespan.
When modern dating apps came onto the scene in 2012, it was thought they’d make it easier for men and women to connect.
They’ve actually made it harder for everyone.
- The proportion of men who have had no sex since turning 18 has tripled in the last decade.
- More than half of 30-year-old women in the UK are single and childless.
- More men and women in the United States are single than ever before.
The biggest reason why is the gender imbalance that formed once these apps became popular. Men outnumber women by nine to one on dating apps in some countries. On top of that, men are less picky for who they swipe right on. From behind the safety of their phone screens, there are no consequences for men to shoot their shot with women who they see as beneath them. They can have a night of fun with (or even get rejected by) a physically undesirable woman and no-one would ever need to know.
This has led to even very plain women being overwhelmed with attention from attractive men on these apps. These women couldn’t respond to everyone even if they tried, so now they only swipe right on a small percentage of the elite super-hot men of Tinder. In the modern day, these ‘Tinder Chads’ are getting all the women, leaving nothing but the dregs for even slightly above-average men.
This graph illustrates it nicely.
The trend should come as no surprise on a platform where you instantly judge someone on their photos. But the situation isn’t making anyone any happier (except maybe a small percentage of top-tier men)
Average Men Are Left Feeling Incredibly Below-Average
Tinder has a greater difference between the haves and have-nots than 95% of the world’s economies. The GINI coefficient of this app was rated just below South Africa.
But most average men don’t know this. They just download the app, swipe away and typically get next-to-no matches.
The natural reaction to this is to assume you’re not attractive enough for even a plain-looking partner — and that can do a real number on anyone’s self-esteem.
A young man could easily let the Tinder algorithm fool him into believing he’s ugly, especially if he’s not collecting any evidence in the real world to counter-act it. He might not realize he’s playing a game that’s rigged against men if that’s the only game he’s playing.
That’s part of the reason why I’m such a huge advocate of flirting with women in real life.
You can get a more accurate idea of how attractive you are when you meet women in the real world and use your personality to win them over.
This way, you don’t have to wait for an algorithm to show your profile, nor for your pictures to instantly catch a woman’s attention. You can simply walk up and make a real emotional connection.
You’re more likely to win her over by showing the bravery and charisma required to do that, especially in the modern day where barely any men are doing this.
Dating is tougher for average men now because women receive so much romantic attention online, but approaching them in the real world can help you stand out.
That’s how I do it!
The video below provides a simple framework to help you do it successfully.
Women Are Having Their Hearts Broken Again And Again
Women might appear to have it easy with online dating, but these apps are ruining their mental health too.
The majority of women using these apps are looking for a serious relationship — and they might feel like they hit the jackpot when they match with a super-handsome super-successful guy.
The problem is: (unless she’s a top-tier babe herself), these Tinder Chads are unlikely to want to commit to her. Why would they when they’re in the 10% of guys who all the women are swiping right on? These guys are far more likely to play the field for a few years before they even think about settling down.
This leaves most ‘Tinderellas’ caught in a cycle of swiping on guys who are too good for them, being pumped and dumped, having their heart broken then jumping back on the dating apps to do the same thing.
You better believe this can harm women’s self-esteem. The problem is: once they receive all this attention and intimacy from a top-tier guy, it becomes hard for them to settle into a relationship with an average Joe.
Dating apps have rocketed women’s romantic standards to unrealistic levels. As such, they’re also playing a game where the odds are stacked against them.
Their only hope is to realize this before they become too old. The demographic most likely to be on anti-depressants is single childless women aged over 40.
Are The ‘Tinder Chads’ Even Happy?
The top 5–10% of attractive men using dating apps may be the only satisfied online dating users. They’re the ones getting served an all-you-can-date buffet of beautiful women.
Might the ‘Infinite Choice Conundrum’ stop them ever settling down and finding love? Maybe.
Could they attract better dates by developing a winning personality and meeting women in real life? Probably.
But some men aren’t worried about that right now. The self-esteem of a ‘Tinder Chad’ is probably shooting through the roof. And there’s no ticking biological clock forcing him to find ‘The One’ by his mid-30s if he wants to start a family.
Put simply, it’s a great era to be a top-tier single guy.
What Is The Solution?
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably not a ‘Tinder Chad’. Most likely, you’re realizing what a horrible impact that dating apps have done to your mental health.
So, what can you do to change things?
- The most obvious answer for men is to delete the apps and commit to learning how to meet dates in real life.
- Alternatively, you could sculpt an amazing body, improve your style, earn a ton of money, take some high-quality photos and launch yourself into the top 5–10% of attractive men on Tinder.
- Women simply need to take more care into finding a man who genuinely appreciates their personality. This is much easier when you get a sense of a man’s character in the real world. Most top-tier men still see Tinder, Bumble and Hinge and the rest as hook-up apps.
None of these solutions are easy. The dopamine that comes from potentially swiping right on your true love is tough to give up, especially when you hear stories of those who do find love on a dating app.
But it’s the best prescription for your mental health and finding someone who actually loves you for you.